2010-06-02
2009-12-02
ARGH.
I knew I shouldn’t have spilled. The thought of him knowing pains me, to say the least. What I thought was going to happen, did. He left. He said he had to go for a little bit, but I know that’s a lie, he most likely appeared offline, or even worse, blocked me or something, just so he could have a breather from me. I don’t like that when things don’t go the way I planned. But I should have gotten used to it by now, you know, not getting my way. It happens more often, way more often than when I do get my way.
Now it's awkward again - WHY WHY WHY do I let myself go through this?!
Now it's awkward again - WHY WHY WHY do I let myself go through this?!
2009-11-30
QUOTES!
Do what makes you happy, be with who makes you smile, laugh as much as you breathe, and love as long as you live.
Remember when...
Friends didn't lie to you and the worst thing anyone ever called you was a meanie. When you were judged only by how nice you were. How you only wanted to hear "I love you." from your mom..
Well, things change.
Because now..
Friends barely tell you the truth. Girls will call you a ton of things that will make you want to breakdown and cry. Now you're judged on how expensive your clothes are and you would give up every single time your mom ever told you she loved you just to hear him say it once.
Welcome to a world where people talk about eachother and everyone lies and everyone tries to be something they're not and nobody can keep a secret and friendships that lasted forever were broken.
Yeah well, it's called LIFE.
Remember when...
Friends didn't lie to you and the worst thing anyone ever called you was a meanie. When you were judged only by how nice you were. How you only wanted to hear "I love you." from your mom..
Well, things change.
Because now..
Friends barely tell you the truth. Girls will call you a ton of things that will make you want to breakdown and cry. Now you're judged on how expensive your clothes are and you would give up every single time your mom ever told you she loved you just to hear him say it once.
Welcome to a world where people talk about eachother and everyone lies and everyone tries to be something they're not and nobody can keep a secret and friendships that lasted forever were broken.
Yeah well, it's called LIFE.
2009-11-23
Alcoholics
I just thought I would post a good definition of an alcoholic, just to make it clear to people who might not be sure on how to react to the definition or maybe don't know how to tell the difference.
Don't be ashamed. Most people don't know how to describe this unexplainable, and almost impossible to control - dangerous habit.
Alcoholism, which is also known as "alcohol dependence syndrome," is a disease that is characterized by the following elements:
Craving: A strong need, or compulsion, to drink.
Loss of control: The frequent inability to stop drinking once a person has begun.
Physical dependence: The occurrence of withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety, when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking. These symptoms are usually relieved by drinking alcohol or by taking another sedative drug.
Tolerance: The need for increasing amounts of alcohol in order to get "high."
Alcoholics Can't Just Quit
Alcoholism has little to do with what kind of alcohol one drinks, how long one has been drinking, or even exactly how much alcohol one consumes. But it has a great deal to do with a person's uncontrollable need for alcohol.
This description of alcoholism helps us understand why most alcoholics can't just "use a little willpower" to stop drinking. He or she is frequently in the grip of a powerful craving for alcohol, a need that can feel as strong as the need for food or water.
While some people are able to recover without help, the majority of alcoholic individuals need outside assistance to recover from their disease. With support and treatment, many individuals are able to stop drinking and rebuild their lives.
Many people wonder: Why can some individuals use alcohol without problems, while others are utterly unable to control their drinking? Recent research supported by NIAAA has demonstrated that for many people, a vulnerability to alcoholism is inherited.
Genetics, Environment Play a Role
Yet it is important to recognize that aspects of a person's environment, such as peer influences and the availability of alcohol, also are significant influences. Both inherited and environmental influences are called "risk factors."
But risk is not destiny. Just because alcoholism tends to run in families doesn't mean that a child of an alcoholic parent will automatically develop alcoholism.
Don't be ashamed. Most people don't know how to describe this unexplainable, and almost impossible to control - dangerous habit.
Alcoholism, which is also known as "alcohol dependence syndrome," is a disease that is characterized by the following elements:
Craving: A strong need, or compulsion, to drink.
Loss of control: The frequent inability to stop drinking once a person has begun.
Physical dependence: The occurrence of withdrawal symptoms, such as nausea, sweating, shakiness, and anxiety, when alcohol use is stopped after a period of heavy drinking. These symptoms are usually relieved by drinking alcohol or by taking another sedative drug.
Tolerance: The need for increasing amounts of alcohol in order to get "high."
Alcoholics Can't Just Quit
Alcoholism has little to do with what kind of alcohol one drinks, how long one has been drinking, or even exactly how much alcohol one consumes. But it has a great deal to do with a person's uncontrollable need for alcohol.
This description of alcoholism helps us understand why most alcoholics can't just "use a little willpower" to stop drinking. He or she is frequently in the grip of a powerful craving for alcohol, a need that can feel as strong as the need for food or water.
While some people are able to recover without help, the majority of alcoholic individuals need outside assistance to recover from their disease. With support and treatment, many individuals are able to stop drinking and rebuild their lives.
Many people wonder: Why can some individuals use alcohol without problems, while others are utterly unable to control their drinking? Recent research supported by NIAAA has demonstrated that for many people, a vulnerability to alcoholism is inherited.
Genetics, Environment Play a Role
Yet it is important to recognize that aspects of a person's environment, such as peer influences and the availability of alcohol, also are significant influences. Both inherited and environmental influences are called "risk factors."
But risk is not destiny. Just because alcoholism tends to run in families doesn't mean that a child of an alcoholic parent will automatically develop alcoholism.
Alcohol Abuse
I thought I would write about a topic that potentially would matter to some of the other bloggers around here. I know that some of you couldn't be bothered to here me ranting about anything and everything that comes to mind.
I thought about it, and it's a topic that affects me deeply, because I have experience in dealing with these...people.
I am talking about alcoholics.
More importantly, I am talking about young people, families and who is affected most by alcohol and alcohol related issues.
Young People and Alcohol
UNDERAGE DRINKING IS WIDESPREAD IN THE U.S...
More than 10 million current drinkers in the United States are between the ages of 12-20. Of these young drinkers, 20% engage in binge drinking and 6% are heavy drinkers.[1]
On average, young people begin drinking at 13.1 years of age.[2]
By the time they are high school seniors, more than 80% have used alcohol and approximately 62% have been drunk.[3]
Girls are beginning to drink at younger ages. In the 1960s, 7% of 10- to 14-year-old females used alcohol; by the early 1990's, that figure had risen to 31%.[4]
Due to heavy or binge drinking, nearly one out of every five teenagers (16%) has experienced "black outs," after which they could not remember what happened the previous evening. [5]
Young people have easy access to alcohol. In alcohol purchase attempts made by researchers across the U.S., buyers who appeared to be underage were able to purchase alcohol with no questions asked at least 50% of the time. [6]
AND THE CONSEQUENCES ARE DEVASTATING...
Alcohol is a factor in the four leading causes of death among persons ages 10 to 24: (1) motor-vehicle crashes, (2) unintentional injuries, (3) homicide, and (4) suicide. [7]
Young people who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who begin drinking at age 21. [8]
More than 67% of young people who start drinking before the age of 15 will try an illicit drug. Children who drink are 7.5 times more likely to use any illicit drug, more than 22 times more likely to use marijuana, and 50 times more likely to use cocaine than children who never drank. [91
Teens under 15 who have ever consumed alcohol are twice as likely to have sex as those who have not. Nearly 4 in 10 (39%) sexually active teens who use alcohol have had sexual intercourse with four or more individuals. [10]
Underage drinking costs Americans nearly $53 billion annually. If this cost were shared equally by each congressional district, the amount would total more than $120 million per district. [11]
Researchers estimate that alcohol use is implicated in one to two-thirds of sexual assault and acquaintance or "date" rape cases among teens and college students. [12]
In 1999, 21% of 15- to 20-year-old drivers who were killed in crashes were intoxicated. [13]
Here's an article that I found on the internet about how alcohol abuse affects the family.
Link: http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/how-alcohol-abuse-affects-family/
How Alcohol Abuse Affects Family
by Bill Urell on
The effects of alcohol abuse roll over the family like waves crashing on the shore.
When someone experiences alcohol problems, the negative effects of drinking cost dearly, not only the drinker, but also on their partner and other family members.
Often alcohol abusers have a blind spot when it comes to the ravaging effects it can have on loved ones. Recent data suggest that approximately one child in every four (28.6%) in the United States is exposed to alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence in the family.
One of the clearest demonstrations of how alcohol use negatively impacts the family is the widely documented association between alcohol use and interpersonal violence. Family problems that are likely to co-occur with alcohol problems include:
1.Violence – slapping, hitting, smashing and throwing objects.
2. Marital conflict – arguments, the silent treatment, growing apart.
3. Infidelity - finding someone who ‘understands’, prostitution, internet sex.
4. Jealousy - of friends, your partner or the
5. Economic insecurity – loss of job, poor financial decisions, easting money
6. Divorce – isolation
7. Fetal alcohol effect – drinking when pregnant, brain damage to the baby.
Drinking problems may negatively alter marital and family functioning, but there also is evidence that they can increase as a consequence of marital and family problems. Therefore drinking and family functioning are strongly and reciprocally linked. Drinking increases family problems, as family problems increase, drinking increases.
A vicious cycle is formed. It is no surprise that alcohol problems are very common in couples that seek out marital therapy. And, relationship problems are common in drinkers who present for alcohol treatment
Here some more articles about alcohol abuse from around the web.
Prenatal Drinking, Environmental Enrichment: Effects On … – Prenatal alcohol exposure may be particularly destructive for neurotrophins, a family of peptides that influence the growth, development and functional plasticity of the fetal brain. A new rodent study of alcohol’s effects on three key …
Growing Up Alcoholic: The Effects of Alcohol Abuse on Children – Alcohol addiction is a very dangerous disease that not only affects the individual, but also has a direct affect on those family members who are around the addict. A great deal of parents who are dealing with stressors such as their …
The Effects Of Alcohol Consumption On Our Society (mens health care) – Alcohol is metabolized in the liver by enzymes, however, the liver can only metabolize a small amount of alcohol at a time, leaving the excess alcohol to circulate throughout the body. The intensity of the effect of alcohol on the body …
The Effects Of Alcohol In The Body – Don’t let alcoholism get to this point. Ethyl alcohol has industrial properties. The ethyl alcohol which is used in alcoholic beverages is heavily taxed. Ethyl alcohol is one of a family of alcohols, which include methyl alcohol, …
I thought about it, and it's a topic that affects me deeply, because I have experience in dealing with these...people.
I am talking about alcoholics.
More importantly, I am talking about young people, families and who is affected most by alcohol and alcohol related issues.
Young People and Alcohol
UNDERAGE DRINKING IS WIDESPREAD IN THE U.S...
More than 10 million current drinkers in the United States are between the ages of 12-20. Of these young drinkers, 20% engage in binge drinking and 6% are heavy drinkers.[1]
On average, young people begin drinking at 13.1 years of age.[2]
By the time they are high school seniors, more than 80% have used alcohol and approximately 62% have been drunk.[3]
Girls are beginning to drink at younger ages. In the 1960s, 7% of 10- to 14-year-old females used alcohol; by the early 1990's, that figure had risen to 31%.[4]
Due to heavy or binge drinking, nearly one out of every five teenagers (16%) has experienced "black outs," after which they could not remember what happened the previous evening. [5]
Young people have easy access to alcohol. In alcohol purchase attempts made by researchers across the U.S., buyers who appeared to be underage were able to purchase alcohol with no questions asked at least 50% of the time. [6]
AND THE CONSEQUENCES ARE DEVASTATING...
Alcohol is a factor in the four leading causes of death among persons ages 10 to 24: (1) motor-vehicle crashes, (2) unintentional injuries, (3) homicide, and (4) suicide. [7]
Young people who begin drinking before age 15 are four times more likely to develop alcohol dependence than those who begin drinking at age 21. [8]
More than 67% of young people who start drinking before the age of 15 will try an illicit drug. Children who drink are 7.5 times more likely to use any illicit drug, more than 22 times more likely to use marijuana, and 50 times more likely to use cocaine than children who never drank. [91
Teens under 15 who have ever consumed alcohol are twice as likely to have sex as those who have not. Nearly 4 in 10 (39%) sexually active teens who use alcohol have had sexual intercourse with four or more individuals. [10]
Underage drinking costs Americans nearly $53 billion annually. If this cost were shared equally by each congressional district, the amount would total more than $120 million per district. [11]
Researchers estimate that alcohol use is implicated in one to two-thirds of sexual assault and acquaintance or "date" rape cases among teens and college students. [12]
In 1999, 21% of 15- to 20-year-old drivers who were killed in crashes were intoxicated. [13]
Here's an article that I found on the internet about how alcohol abuse affects the family.
Link: http://addictionrecoverybasics.com/how-alcohol-abuse-affects-family/
How Alcohol Abuse Affects Family
by Bill Urell on
The effects of alcohol abuse roll over the family like waves crashing on the shore.
When someone experiences alcohol problems, the negative effects of drinking cost dearly, not only the drinker, but also on their partner and other family members.
Often alcohol abusers have a blind spot when it comes to the ravaging effects it can have on loved ones. Recent data suggest that approximately one child in every four (28.6%) in the United States is exposed to alcohol abuse or alcohol dependence in the family.
One of the clearest demonstrations of how alcohol use negatively impacts the family is the widely documented association between alcohol use and interpersonal violence. Family problems that are likely to co-occur with alcohol problems include:
1.Violence – slapping, hitting, smashing and throwing objects.
2. Marital conflict – arguments, the silent treatment, growing apart.
3. Infidelity - finding someone who ‘understands’, prostitution, internet sex.
4. Jealousy - of friends, your partner or the
5. Economic insecurity – loss of job, poor financial decisions, easting money
6. Divorce – isolation
7. Fetal alcohol effect – drinking when pregnant, brain damage to the baby.
Drinking problems may negatively alter marital and family functioning, but there also is evidence that they can increase as a consequence of marital and family problems. Therefore drinking and family functioning are strongly and reciprocally linked. Drinking increases family problems, as family problems increase, drinking increases.
A vicious cycle is formed. It is no surprise that alcohol problems are very common in couples that seek out marital therapy. And, relationship problems are common in drinkers who present for alcohol treatment
Here some more articles about alcohol abuse from around the web.
Prenatal Drinking, Environmental Enrichment: Effects On … – Prenatal alcohol exposure may be particularly destructive for neurotrophins, a family of peptides that influence the growth, development and functional plasticity of the fetal brain. A new rodent study of alcohol’s effects on three key …
Growing Up Alcoholic: The Effects of Alcohol Abuse on Children – Alcohol addiction is a very dangerous disease that not only affects the individual, but also has a direct affect on those family members who are around the addict. A great deal of parents who are dealing with stressors such as their …
The Effects Of Alcohol Consumption On Our Society (mens health care) – Alcohol is metabolized in the liver by enzymes, however, the liver can only metabolize a small amount of alcohol at a time, leaving the excess alcohol to circulate throughout the body. The intensity of the effect of alcohol on the body …
The Effects Of Alcohol In The Body – Don’t let alcoholism get to this point. Ethyl alcohol has industrial properties. The ethyl alcohol which is used in alcoholic beverages is heavily taxed. Ethyl alcohol is one of a family of alcohols, which include methyl alcohol, …
2009-11-20
A weekend to look forward to?
Alrighty.
So I haven't unpacked the slightest thing last night. I did of course rip open a few garbage bags and rummaged through them to find my uniform for today and my jammies for last night - and a towel of course.
It's a good thing all my makeup and other accessories were more accessible through my carrying case, which to my relief, wasn't surrounded by the mess I had created last night.
Tonight I won't be home. Actually, I think I am stopping off at home to make up an overnight bag and change from my uniform to go and stay at mom's for the night. Someone's gotta stay with her - Tash is leaving for the night to some sleepover at her friend's place. So tonight, it'll just be me and mom.
I can't say I'm not looking forward to it, I am really looking forward to spending time with my mother. It's been a while. But I am not looking forward to the large amounts of lost sleep I will be dealing with. That's something I am not looking forward to.
I guess I already have my Saturday planned out.
1. Say goodbye to mom once Tash comes back.
2. Take the bus back home.
3. Take a nap. (I have to get some of the hours of lost sleep back!)
4. Go through the pile of mess that I call everything I own.
5. Make my bedroom look like a bedroom and not a storage facility.
Not kidding about that last part. My bedroom looks more like a storage facility than anything - there are just garbage bags and boxes strewn all over the floor and other areas, and I have yet to get a dresser. Hm.
Which reminds me. I have to go and borrow one of Uncle Dan's xbox games. Kat (my roommate) has an xbox that she hardly uses, and I wanna see if I'll be able to play it. It's the only way I am going to get out of my boredom after completely re-inventing my bedroom.
I'll have to do something around there. Can't spend my nights and weekends not doing anything. Especially nights. I can never get a decent rest anyway.
So I haven't unpacked the slightest thing last night. I did of course rip open a few garbage bags and rummaged through them to find my uniform for today and my jammies for last night - and a towel of course.
It's a good thing all my makeup and other accessories were more accessible through my carrying case, which to my relief, wasn't surrounded by the mess I had created last night.
Tonight I won't be home. Actually, I think I am stopping off at home to make up an overnight bag and change from my uniform to go and stay at mom's for the night. Someone's gotta stay with her - Tash is leaving for the night to some sleepover at her friend's place. So tonight, it'll just be me and mom.
I can't say I'm not looking forward to it, I am really looking forward to spending time with my mother. It's been a while. But I am not looking forward to the large amounts of lost sleep I will be dealing with. That's something I am not looking forward to.
I guess I already have my Saturday planned out.
1. Say goodbye to mom once Tash comes back.
2. Take the bus back home.
3. Take a nap. (I have to get some of the hours of lost sleep back!)
4. Go through the pile of mess that I call everything I own.
5. Make my bedroom look like a bedroom and not a storage facility.
Not kidding about that last part. My bedroom looks more like a storage facility than anything - there are just garbage bags and boxes strewn all over the floor and other areas, and I have yet to get a dresser. Hm.
Which reminds me. I have to go and borrow one of Uncle Dan's xbox games. Kat (my roommate) has an xbox that she hardly uses, and I wanna see if I'll be able to play it. It's the only way I am going to get out of my boredom after completely re-inventing my bedroom.
I'll have to do something around there. Can't spend my nights and weekends not doing anything. Especially nights. I can never get a decent rest anyway.
A little saying...
I moved again.
Yes me, and yes again.
No, I know you're not surprised and you shouldn't be either.
What I`m surprised is that I moved after 2 months, and not 3; as per usual. Huh.
Yes me, and yes again.
No, I know you're not surprised and you shouldn't be either.
What I`m surprised is that I moved after 2 months, and not 3; as per usual. Huh.
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